Sunday, March 22, 2009

Hedgistan Quiz

The Lords of Hedgistan are, by and large, graduates of Ivy League Colleges and the sorts of places where, to be admitted, one must have scored very well indeed on the SAT. The SAT is a multiple choice test that supposedly measures preparation and aptitude for the purpose of college admission.

In the current economic climate, it's important to get back to the basics, and to give the Lords an opportunity to shine again in the multiple choice context in which they made their first tentative steps towards wealth beyond imagining. So, here's the test, fellas, just two questions, but, just like the real SATs (or the valuation of a Tier 3 asset), the grading is a bit opaque.

1. You have made yourself tens of millions of dollars, your investors have lost hundreds of millions of dollars, and the general public has suffered billions of dollars in damages from your activity. An aroused public has responded. The appropriate response is:

a. You should be taxed of every last penny of the money you made and held up as an example of greed, corruption and short sighted selfishness.

b. You should be taken to midfield of the nearest sports stadium, and, in front of an audience consisting of every business school student within a hundred miles, have a placard describing your offenses hung around your neck, and shot in the back of the head.

c. Like a Chinese prostitute caught dealing drugs, you should be quietly hauled off in a white van and harvested for your internal organs.

2. You live in:

a. New York City

b. Kabul

c. Shanghai.

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